Why?

For the past couple of days, the only question I can ask is "Why?" I don't know why everything is going the way it is.


My first why is why Erynn and Jon have to go through the pain of losing a child? Erynn, Jon, and the rest of the Mangum/O'Brien family are the greatest people I know but yet they have to go through the pain of losing a baby before they had a chance of meeting their grandchild, niece/nephew, son/daughter, or brother/sister. It is hard to be told twice that the baby is gone and is with God, but it is even harder to know why. Why did God do this to this family? Why did He take a life before anyone got a chance to me him/her? Just why?


Another why is why can't I find who I am? I hate to admit that this is the longest I have ever been single and even though I am very happy that I get to use this time as a blessing to get close to God, it is still hard to understand why I can't find my identity. I guess mine is a Christian college student going into medicine but I don't know what else. Oh well... I guess that is what this time of singleness is about. 


Why my best friend left for basic for the Army National Guard? I don't know why Bailey left. Don't get me wrong, I am SOOOO proud of her but I am also sad that she is gone. I wasn't expecting her to go but when I got the text that said "Be at the airport at noon" I knew she was going but I didn't know why. To be a hero? To help pay for school? To help buy a new truck? To please her family? Why? 


I could go on for awhile about what I am thinking about but all I really need to do is pray. Pray to the Father that I have to help guide me to answer why and lead me on the right path.


<3
Ali :)